Use your Wisdom and
Curiosity to find simple answers to common problems
|
| |
|
Survive
a divorce
There
are marriages that cannot be saved. If one or both spouses are abusive,
abuse drugs or alcohol and aren’t willing to change, or are involved in
crime, it is usually the best and the safest to get a divorce.
There are many other situations which make divorce the best or the only
solution. Getting back on your feet after a divorce is not easy but it has
to be done. It is not a question if you can and if you want to. It is an
imperative that you do. Your purpose in this life is not to be a bad wife
of a bad husband and it is not done as long as you are here. So, shake
your dust off and get to it.
Some
important things to remember:
 |
You
are not a failure, your marriage is. |
|
You
are not a victim; you are a half way responsible for everything.
Accepting your part of responsibility will make it easier to get over
it. This should not be a blame game. It should sound like: I was young
and naïve and I thought that I could change him. Now that I am wiser
I understand that you don’t change people but accept and love for
who they are. I was not stupid but inexperienced. I did the best I
could with abilities I had. Now that I know more I will do better. |
|
Don’t
hate, this is the same person you once loved. If you were wrong at the
time you fell in love, you are the one that was wrong. If you didn’t
see her for who she was, you are the one that didn’t see well. If he
changed, you are the one that empowered, allowed and probably inspired
this change.
|
If
you have children, make sure:
|
Don’t
use them to get back to your “ex”. You are hurting your kids much
more than your spouse. |
|
Make
sure they understand that it is not their fault. It is never
children’s fault. |
|
Make
sure they have contact with the other parent (except if the other
parent is abusive). Your children have the right to be with the other
parent as much as you have the right not to be with your “ex” |
|
Don’t
say bad things about your ex in front of your children.
|
Remember that you are not alone.
With the divorce rate at 40% in the USA there are a lot of people around
you that went through the similar experience and will understand you. Talk
to people, find a support group.
www.divorcecare.org
www.rainbows.org
www.divorcesupport.com
www.DivorceLawFirms.com
|
|
|
